Ok, so It might not be so bad

I got the job. I'm not excited or sad about it. I just feel like it is neccessary. Something I have to do. Who knows... I may just really enjoy myself. I'm trying to go at it with an open mind.

Yesterday though, I was literally feeling sick about leaving Naomi. At $7/hr daycare would take half of my pay. The plan was to leave her home with my older children. They are really good with her. Heck at their ages I was a pro babysitter. I just felt bad, because they were also needing to get their studies done. So the vision I had in my mind was that Naomi would be sat in front of the tv all day.

So my dh and I were talking. Since he is on commission only, he is going to do as much work as he can from home via telephone and computer. That he'd take Naomi with him to job sites when he needed to. Another salesman had told him when his daughter was young she would go with him lots of times. Who knows...his sales might increase! She is awfully cute. I also think she'd LOVE it! She loves her dad! And getting out and about and seeing the world around her is much better than sitting in front of a tv screen all day!

So I feel much better. I am still going to try and get the kids through the rest of this school year. If it takes me working nights and weekends with them, then that's what I'll do. Eva our 7 year old will more than likely go to public school this next fall. She requires the most one on one time with me. If the older kids can prove themselves the rest of this school year then we'll continue with them at home.

So far that's the plan.